What Hurts the Most
by KMA-KISS.MEH.ASS
Summary: Robin questions what would have happened-what could have been if his parents had lived, if he never met Bruce. He's alone and its storming. Song-fic.
1. Chapter 1

_I used parts from the song What hurts the most By Rascal Flatts._

_i do Not wown that song or its rights._

_i do Not own Young Justice...which sux balls._

* * *

><p><em>I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house<em>

_That don't bother me _

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out_

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though _

_Goin' on with you gone still upsets me_

Robin watched the rain plet down on the windows of the mansion. Right then and there he was alone. Alfred had gone off to run errand and Bruce was at a meeting. He was completly and utterly alone. He could go to the cave. See his friends, his team. But as lightning danced across the sky, he decided against it. He didn't want to put up with Wally's sarcastic jokes, or Artey's snippy comments. He didn't want to watch Conner punch through the walls, or smell burning cookies. He didn't want Kal hovering, asking what was wrong.

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay _

_But that's not what gets me_

_What hurts the most _

_Was being so close _

_And havin' so much to say_

Thunder rumbled above him, growling its rage in a frightening glory. The sky darkened, as did the house. It was becoming chilly, the storm's hate was bringing a different fear into his mind. What if he were to lose Al or Bruce? Or Wally and Kal? Megs of Conner? Hell, even Artey?

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go _

_But I'm doin' it _

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone _

_Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret_

He couldn't stop the scream he heard nearly eight years ago. The one that had his name etched in terror as the two people he loved most in the world were as they falling to their instant deaths.

_What hurts the most Is being so close _

_And havin' so much to say (Much to say) _

_And never knowin' _

_What could've been _

He turned on his heel, as his thoughts turned darker. What if he had jumped forward and caught his mother's hand? What if he, somehow, had the strength to pull her and his dad up? Or if he had gone down with them? Would Batman have a sidekick? Would there have been a team of younger superheros? Would his parents and him have moved out of the circus life? Taken him to a real school and a steady home? Or have used a net in the next show?

_What hurts the most _

_Was being so close _

_And havin' so much to say (To say) _

**_And never knowin' _**

_**What could've been** _

Never knowing what could have been. Tears burned his eyes and his thraot was suddenly dry. Alfred was pulling up the driveway. All the lights were still off in the house. Backing away into the shadows, he wrote a note and left for the telephone booth. His room there was sound-proof. And if he locked it, saying he had work, no one would question him. He needed to be alone.

As if he would ever be whole again.


	2. Chapter 2

_I used parts from the song Pain by Three Days Grace_

_i do Not wown that song or its rights._

_i do Not own Young Justice...which sux balls._

* * *

><p><em>Pain,<br>without love  
>Pain,<em>  
><em>I can't get enough<br>Pain,_  
><em>I like it rough <em>  
><em>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>

Robin slipped on his sunglasses before stepping into the booth. Being the idiot he was, he hadn't worn a coat or had taken his bike. He walked in the downpour, watching as the sky lit up in a white hot agony. It was a blade steel silver-gray, with darker clouds quickly rolling in. He shivered as he stepped into the sudden brightness and warmth that was the cave.

You're sick of feeling numb  
>You're not the only one<br>I'll take you by the hand  
>And I'll show you a world that you can understand<p>

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up. Megan and Conner had been sitting on the couch, eating some freshly baked (burned) cookies. Artey and Wally were uighting over the remote. Kal was calmly sitting and reaing a book, blantaly ignoring the two.  
>"Dude, you're soaked."<p>

_This life is filled with hurt_  
><em>When happiness doesn't work<em>  
><em>Trust me and take my hand<em>  
><em>When the lights go out you will understand<em>

He walked right by them, murmering he had some work to do. He left before anyone really had a chance to talk to him. He didn't want Conner to notice the strain in his voice. He didn't want M'gann to become worried and hover. He didn't want Kal to try to get him to speak, because if he did, he knew he'd lose it. He'd tell the Atlantian everything and then Bats would be pissed and he'd be in major trouble and Kal would probably die if-no, _when_-Batman got his hands on him. He didn't want Wally to lounge on his bed and make comments about how wet he was or for the archer to try to beat down the dopor, yelling about some stupid prank West had pulled.

_Pain_  
><em>without love<em>  
><em>Pain<em>  
><em>I can't get enough<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>

He changed into a pair of loose gray sweat pants and a white undershirt. He could hear the rain pounding against the cave, like a parent about to beat down their kid's locked door. Drying his hair, he slipped his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept the past few days or had eaten much. But he kept training. Tommorrow was the day his parents had been murdered right in front of him. Would he go to their grave site? Yes. Would he stand there for hours, letting whatever weather have its way with him? Yes. Would he play the music they listened to when he was a kid-country and smooth jazz? Yes.

_I like it rough_  
><em>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>without love<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I can't get enough<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I like it rough<em>

He'd probably do what he did every year on that day since-Gice himself a small scar, one only noticed if you knew what you were looking for. With all the scars he already had, no one would notice or anything. It was really small, on his right hand. One for each year he lived after their death. Would anyone approve? Nope. Did he care? Fuck no. Its not like they knew what he was going through. Batman, yeah, he knew; he understood and contioues to understand. Its why he lets him get away with not needing to trian or work on the days leading up to that fateful night. He even lets Dick stay home from school if it falls on the school day.

_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_  
><em>Anger and agony<em>  
><em>Are better than misery<em>  
><em>Trust me, I've got a plan When the lights go off,<em>  
><em>you will understand<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>without love<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I can't get enough<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I like it rough.<em>

He was about to put his headphones in and head to bed, maybe bawl himself to sleep like a frightened little kid, but then there was a knock on his door. He shoved his glasses onto his face and chanced a look in the mirrors. He looked like a ghost, his skin was so pale. His cheeks seemed a bit hallow. If he wasn't wearing his sunglasses, then the others would see red-rimmed, glassy blue eyes of a tramatized child rather than the confident crime-fighting teen they knew. He opened the door, to see Wally with a raised fist, about ready to kncok again. "Yeah?" his winced at the sound of his voice; void of emtion, hoarse and strange to his own ears. "Uh, Rob, I was wonderin', are you okay? I mean, you look really pale and..." Robin pulled his best friend into his room and hugged him tightly as the door closed. "Rob? You okay?" Concern laced his friend's tone.

_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>without love<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I can't get enough<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I like it rough<em>  
><em>'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing,<em>  
><em>rather feel pain<em>

"No. I'm not okay." he moved away from his friend. And sat on the bed, staring at the wall. "My parents are dead, Wally. And...if i had just spoken up, or asked for it to be double checked, they would still be alive. I'll never be okay."  
>"W-What?" Wally's eyes went wide, and then he bent down beside his friend. "Rob, i am so, so sorry. I...I can't even begin to imagine..." He trailed off, not sure what to say, waht to do.<p>

_I know, I know that you're wounded_  
><em>You know, you know that I'm here to save you<em>  
><em>You know, you know I'm always here for you<em>  
><em>I know, I know that you'll thank me later<em>

A few hours later, after talking to Wally about it, Robin felt slightly better. He hadn't even noticed his eyeslids drooping.

Wally watched as his friend drifted to sleep. After finding out his best freind's parents had been murdered, Wally felt lost. Sure, his parents weren't the greatest, but at least they were breathing and well. He carefully crpet out of the room, after covering his friend up and turning out the light. He went straight to the common-room. Everyone was still lounging around. He was shocked to see it was only nine. It had felt like years since he had gone to Rob's room.  
>"Well?" Asked Megan.<br>"His parents were murdered."  
>"WHAT?" Conner was up so fast, it could have made Wally envious.<p>

_Pain,_  
><em>without love<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>can't get enough<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I like it rough<em>

"Turns out his parents were threatened, by a mob boss. He wanted protection money. Rob's dad refused and they caused a...an "accident". Both of Rob's parents were killed." Wally waited a moment, letting it sink in, before letting the bomb hit. "Right in front of him. There was nothing he could have done."  
>"Dear Lord." the blonde archer's trembling voice was nearly drwowned out by the clash of thnder above their heads.<p>

_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>without love<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I can't get enough<em>  
><em>Pain,<em>  
><em>I like it rough<em>

Robin tossed and turned in his bed, his breathing become shallow. He was on the platform, looking down. Two bodies, with broken bones tearing through the skin, were soaking in their own blood. Their glazed, lifeless eyes seemed to stare up at him, through the glare of the stage lights. Their faces were distorted by the space between them and the blood, but he could tell they were frozen in terror.

He sat up, panting and covered in goosebumps. His eyes were wild and frightened. It took him several mintues to calm down enough to realize it was only a dream. looking at the clock, he saw it was four in the morning. There was absolutly no way he was going to be able to get back to sleep. Thunder crackled above him, sounding eerily close to the Joker.

_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all_  
><em>Rather feel pain than nothing at all<em>  
><em>Rather feel pain<em>


End file.
